Prayer For Spiritual Strength

As modern, independent, type A, professional young woman, I have a hard time asking for help.  I'm used to doing it on my own without any help from friends and family.  I don't need my mommy to cook me dinner or my man to pay my bills.  But what I forget is that I need God.  It's so easy to get lost in our vices whether it's junk food, cigarettes, booze, drugs, sex, etc.  We're self destructive, slaves to our temptations when left to our devices.  We need God, we need the strength that can only be given to us through his love.  When you open your heart to Jesus Christ, His love fills our spirit and leaves little room for our earthly vices.

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

-Ephesians 3:14-19 (NASB)

I pray that you and I can let go of our independence and open our hearts to Christ.  That we may know the knowledge of Christ's love and we are filled with the Holy Spirit.  By opening our hearts to the Lord, we are open to the seeds of truth that God will implant within us.  As we continue to follow Him, the roots will begin to blossom into a shining light of truth, serving as a messenger of the good news.

Of course this is easier said than done.  It's one thing to talk about letting Christ into our hearts, it's another thing to actually recognize that he is in our hearts.  How do you know if He is there?  How do you know that God is always there, waiting with His love?  I don't know the answers to these questions.  I can't tell you how to know that God is always there, I can't even tell myself that Jesus is in my heart.  But what I do know is that:

"the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge"

-Esphesians 3:19

Surpasses knowledge.  We can not even begin to understand Christ's love except what the Bible tells us that through Christ's love, we find our salvation from an earthly death.  We don't have to have the answers.  We just have to put our faith in His love.  We just need to open ourselves to the possibility that God loves us more than we can ever imagine and His love is so strong that we will live forever with Him in Heaven.

Happy Mardi Gras!

On the Tuesday before Lent (commonly known as Maudi Gras), Christians celebrate with huge parties and feasts.  The forty days of Lent has always been treated as a time of fasting and denial of simple human pleasures.  However, I would prefer not to celebrate (not only due to having to go to work tomorrow morning) because I think Lent is not the depressing time expressed by so many.  As opposed to giving something up and using Lent as a diet kick start, I think Lent is the ideal time for deep reflection and prayer.  I'd rather not spend 40 days missing a cookie I gave up, I'd rather spend forty days talking to God and seeking a deeper understanding of His love and His truth.

So rather than celebrating Mardi Gras, I'm celebrating Shrove Tuesday.  Shrove is the past tense of the verb shrive which means to repent/confess.  The repentance and absolution of our sins is one of the main tenants of Christianity.  We all have our faults.  We all make mistakes.  We all are sinners.  Yet with Jesus Christ, we are granted absolution for our sins.  Turning to Jesus and asking for forgiveness, frees us from the earthly desires that tempt us on a regular basis and open our hearts to love that only He can give us.  Each Christian has an unique method of repentance, whether you speak to your priest or speak to God, asking for forgiveness is a truly intimate act.  Each week during the Episcopal church service, the congregation repents together speaking the words found in the Book of Common Prayer:

"Most merciful God,

we confess that we have sinned against thee

in thought, word, and deed,

by what we have done,

and by what we have left undone.

We have not loved thee with our whole heart;

we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.

We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.

For the sake of thy Son Jesus Christ,

have mercy on us and forgive us;

that we may delight in thy will,

and walk in thy ways,

to the glory of thy Name. Amen"

I confess that my faith and trust in God has been shaky at best.  I confess that I have placed my human wants and needs above my relationship with God.  I confess that my vanity and independence have kept me from turning to Him even in my most darkest moments.  And I confess that I am worried about my ability to follow a 40 day devotional.  

But I know despite my sins (listed and unlisted), God loves me.  He will love me even if I don't finish the 40 day devotional.  However, I am making this commitment to myself and this commitment to my relationship with God.  So on this Shrove Tuesday, the day before Lent, the day before my spiritual journey, I confess and open myself to the awesomeness of God and what I can learn in just 40 days.

Are You There God, It's Me Sarah...

I've spent my life attending church and Sunday school with my family.  I was baptized and confirmed as an Episcopalian.  Yet I've always struggled with feeling a connection with God.  I wander away from Him and return.  I pray and beg for help yet neglect to give thanks.  I read and struggle to believe.  In a modern world where Christianity and God no longer plays a prominent part, it becomes harder to continue down a path of faith especially when your dedication has always been shaky.  But the farther I've gotten from God, the worst I've felt and the more I've struggled with daily life.  And  I've realized that I need God and His grace.  In the wise words of the Gospel of Matthew:

"Ask, and it shall be given to you.  Seek, and ye shall find.  Knock, and it shall be opened to you"
-Matthew 7:7

Now I am seeking the Truth, I am seeking God, I am seeking His grace.  And I can think of no better time that the Lenten period to begin my journey closer to God.  I'm giving up my excuses, my denial, and my stubborn pride that has kept me from Him.  As Jesus wandered in the desert for forty days, I will wander in the Word.  I will pray, I will read, and I will ask for the love that I know God feels for me.

To help guide me on my path, I will be following a reading plan via Youversion called Rethink Life: 40 Day Devotional.  I'm rethinking my life and how I've lived away from His grace.   I've got 40 days to change my life.